A Different Spectrum

I loaded the gun and stared at the cold steel that I clutched in my right hand. Trembling at the very idea of taking my own life proved that I still had the capacity to feel. It was a little odd to have a rush shoot through you for all of the wrong reasons. I thought back about the good times and the bad, trying to give myself any reason to splatter all of them on the wall behind me. Something was missing, but I couldn’t figure it yet.

An unexpected knock at the door shook me up, causing me to drop the gun on the floor at my feet. I left it lying on where it landed as I scurried to the door to see who was on the other side. Looking through the peephole, I saw an elderly woman, about 70 years old if I had to guess, draped with a black robe and holding a stack of books. I wasn’t really in the mood to hear about our lord and savior, but I opened the door anyways.

“Hello, may I come in?”

I hesitated to agree, but something told me to oblige. I stepped aside and motioned for her to walk in. The woman placed her books on the hardwood floor after removing her robe. She acted as if she owned the place, striding over to my black leather sofa and plopping down without a care. I keep feel the rage inside of me bubbling to the surface.

My color was brown.

“Do you just come in and make yourself at home wherever you go?”

She reached into the left pocket of her blue jeans and pulled out a flask of whiskey, sipping it before addressing his question.

“Only the places I call home,” she replied, “you wouldn’t happen to have an extra cigarette, would you?”

“I don’t smoke,” he lied.

She caught on to his blatant falsehood when she spotted an ashtray on the end table near the window, a ceramic graveyard to a dozen or more cigarette butts. She wore a sly smirk as she looked back at him, studying how he’d react to being caught in a lie. His freshly shaven face was now as red as his color.

I walked into my bedroom and grabbed two smokes from the pack, tossing one to her on the way to the couch. I passed her my lighter and sat down next to her on the couch and was immediately mystified by her very presence. It was something that I’d never felt before, and probably would never feel again. There was this odd kind of energy that emanated from her that roped me in deeper and deeper. It almost felt like something I couldn’t fight, like loving the wrong person.

Her face was wrinkled, and she looked like one of those people that look like an animal. If I had to guess, I would say that she resembled a tortoise. A long, skinny neck supported her small head, which made me think to myself that she had to have been built rather than made. Everything was just as it should be, which terrified me to no end. I decided to forego my fears and attempt to crawl around her mind for a bit.

“So are you going to tell me about Christ or what?”

She looked at me, acting as if my question washed right over her, showing no emotion whatsoever. Her energy increased, and I could see it infect the room. Creeping and swirling around every door way, a light blue colored vapor surrounded them. I was unclear whether the woman had seen the apparition, so I just assumed that she had. She didn’t come off as worried or fearful of it, so I tried to follow suit but couldn’t do it.I could feel my throat tightening, like this thing was stealing my breath one breath at a time.

“What makes you think I’m here to talk about Christ? I’m here for something far more important.”

It was almost dusk when she answered the question. It had only felt like a few minutes, but when I looked down at my watch I noticed just how late it was. When I looked back up to her, and made pure eye contact for the first time, a heavy breeze swept through and shook the house. The wind chimes that dangled from my front porch smashed violently against the window, cracking it at first strike.

The woman rose up from her seat and approached her stack of books. The one on top had the title of, “Occult and You.” She bent down to pick up the book and flipped to a bookmarked page, causing every light in my house to flicker and eventually burn out. As soon as I tried to jump up and question her, I realized that I had no control over my movements outside of my eyes. I scanned the room to figure out what she was up to.

My color was turquoise.

Before I could form even an uneducated assertion, there was another knock at the door. She smiled from ear to ear as if she was expecting company. Shuffling over to the door, I watched in horror as the door swung open, and in stepped the blonde woman I slept with the previous night. Her reaction led me to believe that she wasn’t in on this, and had just dropped by for an encore or to just say hello.

“Are you his maid?”

“Something like that, I guess you could say. I’m well known for cleaning up a mess,” she retorted with a giggle.

When I looked at her, I saw her in a different light. She was way more beautiful than before. Maybe this was because I only had my eyes. She was drop dead gorgeous, beautifully broken like a sunset through a broken mirror. It had to be some kind of cruel joke that my words were useless after carrying such meaning for my entire life. It wasn’t that I had nothing to say, it was that I simply couldn’t.

The old woman spoke. “You’re both here. Sit next to him,” she commanded.

She reluctantly followed the orders, watching as the old woman trailed off into the bedroom. Upon her return she held the gun loosely, clutching it with both hands. She placed it on the table and looked at both of them, witnessing the vapor surround the girl next.

“I will be back in twenty minutes. You have to make a choice. You or her. There’s one bullet, but you already knew that.”

I struggled to find through whatever spell I was presently under but was unsuccessful. I tried to shake myself free but could do nothing but blink my eyes.

“Are you trying to tell something, boy?”

She chuckled as she turned around to grab her books and robe. As she made her way down the block, she stopped dead in her tracks as soon as she heard a single gunshot echo throughout the neighborhood. Birds flocked and dogs barked, as she stepped forth to her next mess.

His color was baby blue.