This Fine City

The water from the faucet drained onto my toothbrush as my day began. I looked at myself in the mirror and could barely stand what I had become. It wasn’t always this way. I rationalize my actions by telling myself that it’s the way of the world that we live in these days. With a bad economy and the climate of the employment landscape proving to be fruitless, I did what had to be done.

Here I go again.

I’ve never taken it all and never would. I only skim a little off of the top, nobody will ever notice.  Five years ago I was a community leader, people looked up to me. In some sense they still do, but I do not feel as high on myself as I once did. It could be because I run a charity scheme that is meant to help widows of victims of the September 11^th attacks.

Fuck.

I’ve done this for many years, but to actually verbalize it, hear myself say it, admit it to myself, really struck a chord deep within me.  I never rip them off completely, they never walk away empty handed.

My phone gyrated on the sink where I left it. It was a text message from my assistant, Allison. It was a reminder that I had a speaking arrangement at 2 PM. I can’t even recall how I got to be this way. It’s all a blur. This was never my intention, I would much rather be a regular Joe, cooking at a diner somewhere instead of being expected to be responsible one, the leader of my people.

Life never goes the way that you plan it to. The most successful people in the world have done unspeakable acts to get to where they are now, me included. It’s a fair trade. You give up your morality and compassion to be somebody of importance. The ends justify the means to me.

I run the water and wash my face before stepping out of the bathroom, grabbing my phone in the process.  As I made my way through my lavish living quarters, I made my way to the refrigerator and took a sip of orange juice out of the container before placing it back inside.

People would literally kill to be in my position. Although I may be morally bankrupt, I have the final say as to what in your life is acceptable. As long as you’re under my rule, you will accept my decisions with a smile.

I stepped outside and took in the day. Not a cloud in the sky, despite the weather experts calling for scattered thunderstorms. There was a slight breeze that pressed against my face. This place is mine, and I have done what is necessary to claim it. My finger squeezed the remote to unlock the doors of my Prius.

Yes, a Prius. I hated being seen in the fucking thing, but it was imperative to keep up appearances. I pulled out of my driveway and was on my way to my obligation. There was no other route to where I was expected than to head through the ghetto.        

Seeing the poverty stricken used to affect me deeply, but I’ve since gotten over it. Some would say that I’ve forgotten my roots, I look at it as I have made it out of this situation and it’s not my responsibility to help you get out of yours. It’s a fair system. Work hard and things will work out for you. I’m living proof.

At a red light I peered over to see an elderly woman pushing a grocery cart down the sidewalk. I wondered what it would be like to be her, to have lived her life. This was supposed to be golden years of her life, yet she was as poor as poor can be. Maybe more than that. The thought crossed my mind to give her a 50 out of my wallet, but the light changed to green.

Tough luck. 

I pressed on the gas and was minutes away from my destination. I turned the radio on and played with the tuning dial. Horse shit, per usual.

I pulled into the parking lot and stepped out of the vehicle. From afar I could see a man being restrained by a handful of guards. I ventured over to the area and seen what the commotion was about. Upon seeing my face, the man fought harder to break away. He shouted that I’m the reason why the we’re in such a shit storm.

A guard came to me and whispered that this man had every intention of killing me on this day and that they had confiscated the weapon. It was a Colt .45.

Jesus, this guy wanted me dead, twice.

I applauded his great work and told him I must go, people were waiting for me. He nodded his head and I turned my back to him while stepping towards the door. I swung the glass double doors open and was greeted by a group of people who had heard the news. Hugs and support were being given. I accepted, but eventually shoed them away.

I glanced at my phone to see that the time was 1:53 PM. They knew it was time for business. I thanked them and said I’d see them in the crowd.

Here I was, alone again to face this inevitable experience on my lonesome. Standing behind a curtain, I waited to be announced. The voice told the people that I was moments away from stepping out. I pushed through the veil and stood at the podium that was set up for me.

“As mayor of this fine city…”