The shipwrecked remains of the luxury cruise ship floated along
the Pacific Ocean. Jamie reached out for a piece of the deck that broke off
from the shuffleboard area and pulled himself on top of it. As he peered out to
the hell in front of him, he noticed another survivor, a woman, sailed
unconsciously towards the front of the dismantled ship.
While he was unsure what they hit, or how he survived, he
paddled his way towards the woman with heroic intentions in mind. As the water
splashed up and soaked the makeshift raft. The sun beamed down as if it were
under a magnifying glass, baking his once soaked face to a flesh like desert.
His pores, bogged down like grains of sand, began to turn a light shade of red.
The ship, which departed from Honolulu, spanned
twelve-hundred feet and was painted an ironically angelic hue of white. The
iron and steel based ship was split 40 feet from the middle, both ends pulling
in opposite directions. Approaching the front end, Jamie began to look around
for any other potential survivors, but came up empty.
Neither blood curdling screams nor panic stricken women
accompanied the desolate destruction in front of him.
Jamie was sleeping off a two night bender when the sound of
the ship being torn apart woke him from his slumber. He jumped up, grabbed his
flotation device and ran out of his room and to the deck of the ship. Trying to
be the hero that he had always so desperately wanted to be, he began
instructing various other passengers on how to survive this predicament. Waving
them to their rooms to gather materials, the ship broke in two, sending Jamie
to the hardwood deck, knocking him out before falling to the ocean beneath
them.
Approaching the lifeless woman, Jamie stretched and reached
out for her leg and tugged at it, a fruitless attempt to get her attention. As
she continued to make her way out to the wavy void, Jamie tossed himself from
the raft and grabbed at the woman, eventually ending up with her in his arms.
He looked down at her pale white face and knew that he had been too late to
save her.
He screamed out, broken in voice and spirit as he let her
body sink to the sea floor.
As her body sunk further into the depth, beyond the coral
reefs and the sunfish, her raven colored hair began to dance along with it.
After what seemed like hours but was actually minutes, her descent was abruptly
interrupted as she was whisked away by a five and half foot long creature,
complete with a scaly body and an inverted fishtail.
No sunlight dared puncture so low as to experience the
depths of not only the ocean, but the evil residing within it. Recruitment was
a necessary part of that, even if it meant toying with the fates of others
destined for so much more. The raven haired, hazel eyed woman was brought to a
circle of women, all with hair as white as cotton and the same inverted
fishtails as the creature that escorted her.
A stunning young woman stepped forward from the pack, and
approached the corpse bestowed upon her. She wore a crown made of silver coral
reef, and a see through dress that was bedazzled with pearls along the edges with
jelly fish dangling from the puffed sleeves. She held court with the dead
woman, kneeling to her side and whispering in her ear.
An elderly woman in the back of the circle asked what the
princess was doing, and gossip relayed back that she was taking in all of her
sins.
“Silence!”
The princess spoke and the mermaids gathered around her.
“Firstly, thank you to Alex for retrieving this woman. She
will be useful.”
Alex bowed her head and flipped her tail with a smile on her
face. She brushed her white hair over her face to conceal her blushing.
Jamie sat on the raft and stared out at the stars. After
four hours adrift, he became despondent to the situation he found himself
currently stuck in. Hope was a dangerous thing to lose, and his had left when
the sunlight did.
“Hey!”
Jamie whipped his head around and saw a woman, the same one
who he held in his arms hours before, hanging on the side of his raft. Her hair
was now bleach white, and her voice was vibrantly full of life.
“How are you…? What? You died!”
She dunked her head under the water and faced Jamie face to
face, laughing before speaking to him.
“I saw that you tried to save people. We respect that. Come
with me.”
Jamie looked her in the eyes, completely transfixed on her
and everything that she had to say. The trance only intensified as her dialogue
wore on.
“You’re a hero, Jamie. You always have been, we can show that
to you. Take my hand. You want to.”
Jamie shook his head slowly, and stuck his hand out for her.
She slowly took his hand, gaining his trust inch in inch. Suddenly, she grabbed
him by the shoulder and threw him under the raft and down to the ruins of the
ocean in seconds.
The mermaid princess swam forward, leaving a trail of
bubbles behind her. As Jamie began to suffocate, his eyes bulged open.
Struggling to fight back the natural urge to take a breath, he tried to focus
on the princess’ crown. It only worked for a few seconds before he had to
inhale, and as he did, he took a look around the dark cellar of the sea.
Every remaining passenger that Jamie attempted to save
before the ship broke in half circled around him and began enclosing in on him.
The circle was broken as he tried to push through, but they forced him back
inside. The princess swam over to the commotion and began to float above them
by several feet.
“Come forth!”
As soon as the princess completed her sentence, the sea
floor began to shake, and mermaids raced their way from every end of the ocean.
As they rapidly approached, Jamie attempted to scream, but nothing came out.
The princess chuckled as she sprung away to watch her rule from a distance. She
swam past the raven haired woman who she had just made into one of her own, and
grabbed her by the arm to take her to tag along.
They found a rock to take a seat on, and the princess turned
to her to ask a question.
“What’s your name, sweetheart?”
“Terry.”
“Terry, it’s so nice to meet you. Do you care to watch why
it’s so wonderful to be queen?”
Terry shook her head yes, as they watched the gang of
mermaids tear Jamie apart, first mentally and then limb from limb.
The main character Jamie is really on a cliffhanger when the story starts. You have me wondering what's happening and where's this heading. Then the side character, the girl, slipped out his grasp and fell to the sea. Okay, her tendrils floating like snakes around her head or something visual like that. But then you threw me off guard, the pace changed when she started sinking. It's like the pov changed completely from Jamie. Then when she returns, it doesn't make sense, their exhange, nor the fact that he just fell to the bottom and got consumed. Yeah you can say he got thrashed mentally, but where was the mindfuck? That he was eaten on the seafloor by a princess? Was she his x? Idn good writung though, I just wanted to know more to the backstory. PrescottFry.com
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